Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize