I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize
