no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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