its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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