I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
