I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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