I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
