When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He did a backflip because drugs
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
