At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
