is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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