thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i think i have herpe
just one?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
