Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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