Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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