yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
