I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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