I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
