Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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