What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
