The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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