Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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