I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
