Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
