If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
