So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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