We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
