He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
