Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
