I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
