I didn't shave. On purpose
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
