In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
