Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
