I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
