GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
