4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
