After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize