I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
