hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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