I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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