If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
