Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
