At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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