Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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