she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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