remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
