he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
