We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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