I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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