he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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