first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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