I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
