Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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