I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Boobs are out for the taking
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
