You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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