So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
