Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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