Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
