wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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