Already got asked if we're dating
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I didn't notice because vodka
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
