Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
