We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
