Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
