Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize