Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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