if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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