That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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