hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
