Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
