So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
