Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
