my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
